studio non troppo : mindful design : facilitation

I find myself

Under many work circumstances, I find it easy to get angry. Or I find it easy to be frustrated with a difficult person.

Now I know that the situation is not as simple as “X makes me angry,” or “Y is frustrating.” I am aware that the particular state I am in plays a part in whether or not I grow angry when X happens. And difficult person Y can, when I am feeling differently, turn out to be just amusing or even come across to me as sympathetic.

But when I feel angered by X, or when I feel frustrated by Y, those feelings are real, too, and I can’t pretend they aren’t there, though the causality is suspect. Or I suppose I could pretend, but it doesn’t seem that this kind of pretending would be particularly beneficial.

It doesn’t seem to work (despite trying many times, in different, subtle ways) to accept something in order to escape it. At times, there can be accepting, yes. But accepting in order to escape? That doesn’t seem to work. Even so, it’s often that I find myself trying to do so. To the extent I find myself, though–accepting, not trying to escape myself–I am not making thing worse.

It is simple, and inconceivable.